THIS WEEK'S SINGLE REVIEWS Electric Banana, www.electric-banana.co.uk The greatest fruit-themed music website in the Midlands

Maccabees' guitarist Felix White had Roots in mind for Wall Of Arms album track No Kind Words and mentioned his desire for a collaboration in a couple of interviews earlier this year. On the eve of their Glastonbury appearance White received a call from Roots....and here is the result!

This is a clever small diamond in the Cash Converters that is Britain's current indie scene. Treasure this. Stumbling between Roots Manuva's street-talking hip-hop verses and The Maccabees mumbled chorus, it's a real grower after a couple of listens. Good stuff.
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Teenage angst and a bit of eyeliner was a good way to sell a few records a couple of years ago. Surrey emo kids You Me At Six hope this daft formula still works, as this is also aimed at the "weird looking 17 year olds that don't smile" market.

But it's not a bad record with it's punk pop guitars, pounding drums, and a nice catchy chorus etc. Of course, it could have been written by anyone - as it has been done a million times before by much better bands. Annoying fake American vocals as well, but at least all those weirdo 17 year olds have a replacement for Fall Out Boy. WHAT A RELIEF!
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Sade - you know her - she is that sultry vixon who used to soundtrack all those yuppie dinner parties in the 1980s with the tedious National Anthem of smoldering background music: Smooth Operator.

Well, the err....smooth operator is back for the first time in 10 years! [Sorry. Ed.] This time armed with a military-esque drummer and proving her voice can still deliver a brooding ballad or two. Place in the 'guilty pleasure' file and please do not listen to while in the company of your mates - as they will think you are a bit of a goon.
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Taylor Swift is basically country music you can listen to without attempting to suffocate yourself - mainly because her music is actually pop music with a bit of fiddle and a southern accent. This doesn't make this new track - from the new chick flick Valentine's Day - a pleasant experience though.

Lyrics like "Today was a fairytale / You were the prince / I was the damsel in distress" should obviously not be allowed into circulation and caused several staff writers at Banana HQ to throw-up. The tune is nice and fluffy pop stuff, which might be nice if you happen to be a (very simple) girl (in love) on Valantine's Day. For the rest of us, get your sick-bags at the ready!
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Cowell's charity single sadly sounds like a PR exercise for the majority of "celebrities" appearing here - which we admit may be a tad unfair. However, the charm of the REM original was Michael Stipes' soft fragile voice, but this has been replaced by horrible over-the-top displays of vocal gymnastics that sound like misguided attempts for the limelight.

Electric Banana would recommend skipping buying any Haiti-related record and just giving the money (plus a few pence more if you have the cash) directly here to those wonderful Oxfam folk - who we assume have little interest in PR.
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Scottish dance music maestro and pineapple fan - Calvin Harris - returns with another huge dull dance track from his highly disappointing number one album Ready For The Weekend.

This latest Calvin Harris offering is full of horrible repetitive lyrics and music that almost makes the listener want to write letters of complaint to the Ibiza authorities complaining about how their silly island have influenced such horrendous musical drivel.
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